Stressed. Out.

I feel like I shouldn't be stressed. That this overwhelmed, tear my hair out and shriek or go catatonic in the corner feeling, it shouldn't happen because I am here. In this house, in my new home, on this wonderful land that has so many possibilities I am ALLOWED TO EXPLORE!!!!!

But I am, anyway. We have all of our stuff in the house, in gigantic, unmanageable piles I don't even know where to start with. The furniture is taken apart and in the wrong rooms, and I persist in feeling like I can't do it, despite having taken them apart and gotten them there myself. The Ninja Time Lord is working long hours at two physically demanding jobs and yet I persist in feeling angry he isn't doing more at home to help me. I broke my ring finger tip today at work. My kids haven't turned into perfectly behaved neat housework helpers just because this is our place to take care of now. I have to share one car with my husband and therefore miss all the cool fun stuff going on elsewhere when he is at work. Just because I finally have a home to fix up and decorate doesn't mean I magically have the money to do so.

Nothing big or world ending or a good reason to shriek at my kids and send them all to bed early. In fact, it's not even near to the better reasons I had to be stressed out a mere three months ago. August 7th my family was living with friends and no prospect of ever having our own place, my husband was working a horrid dead end job that didn't pay near enough for us to save money even living with friends and getting not getting any nibbles on the hundreds of resumes he was putting out there. We have it good, real good right now.

So seriously, I need to go apologize to my kids who are NOT horrid little home destroyers but what actually makes this place home and more important than any toilet paper holder or picture frame. Then I need to smile, take a breath, and go to bed. Drowning my stress in tv, internet, and Milky Ways in the middle of the night does not, matter of fact, make me feel better. Go figure.

Pictures will come. Eventually. Promise.