Friday, June 26, 2015

Night Owl Problems

Look! The Time of Making Poor Decisions and Not-Caring is upon us!
Staying up late is easy. No matter what time I got up in the morning, what I did all day, how well I slept the night before, or how determined I am to get to bed at a reasonable time finally, midnight, one or even sometimes two am can show up before I realize I haven't shut off the light and laid down yet.

Getting up early is hard. No matter what time I went to bed last night, what I have to do today, how well I slept the night before, or how determined I am to get up bright and early and get things done, eight, nine, or even sometimes 10 am can show up before I realize I haven't opened my eyes and rolled out of bed yet.

There are times when I have thought: "Hey! I'm a stay-at-home homeschooling mom! Let's just make my schedule fit my procliviations!" Unfortunately, that really doesn't work so well. Obvious reasons are things tend to happen in the mornings, like ups deliveries, park days, and church. Also, not all of my kids are night owls, and those that aren't can't really be trusted without some supervision. Worst of all though, is my self-discipline, patience, and desire to be "good." Those parts of me do not stay up late.

When I do manage to get up in the morning, it's rough, but soon I'm skipping around, determined and excited to have a "good day" and "get lots of stuff done" and "be an awesome mom." Apparently these ideals attach themselves to me sometime around 5 am, and then, whether I am awake and up or sleep for another five hours, they wilt and die over the course of the next 13 hours. That means at 6 pm I am done.

Anything important to discuss or do or take care of? Funny. You better hope I already made supper by 6 pm. Otherwise, someone else can do it or just eat cake, whatever. I don't care about healthy meals for anyone, but especially not me. Losing weight is for losers, obviously. And at 7 pm, I am an awesome gainer who can polish off a whole package of cheese and crackers and then follow it up with a pint of ice cream. Who am I kidding? Make that a quart. As long as I have a good book or tv show or music, I don't notice the household chores that need done. My kid wants to snuggle? Sorry, buddy, should have asked me BEFORE 6 pm. I still love you, but don't touch me. Go away. All responsibilities just need to go away. After five is happy hour, for me to hide in my bedroom and be alone or hang with my friends somewhere far away from my sticky living room and cluttered kids. And then I will stay up too late, because it's easy and after 7pm I don't care about being smart or good.

No one knows when Jesus is returning, but I really hope it's before 6 pm.

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