What I Want

I'm trying to change my life. I'm trying to form it. It's too easy to do what is easy, but the things I want in my life are not easy. They'd be worth it, though. I'm never going to have them without working for them, and in order to work for them I have to know what they are, why they are, and set real goals. I also need to do the things I can do now, now, instead of dreaming about what I'd like to do "someday" when life is different somehow. Like, "someday" I will have more money, more time, and more self-discipline, all of which will fall magically from the sky to bless me for my long difficult trial of having less money, less time, and less self-discipline. Cause that will totally happen. Someday.

Till then, though, these are some of my "wants" that I can work on right now, in no particular order:

To learn Russian.
      Seriously, I have no excuse for this. I've been piddling around wanting to learn Russian since I was 16. I had some lessons. I went to St. Petersburg, Russia, where I picked up a fair amount and then came back to America and promptly forgot most of it. (Okno is window, though. I remember that.) I own the Rosetta Stone Russian language program, level 1. I go to church with real honest-to-goodness Russians. Why am I not fluent? Because I dream instead of practice. Just ridiculous. You here, who read this? Judge me. Feel scorn and disdain, and when you see me (since most of you who read are personal friends) ask me, "So how's that Russian coming?" and when I stammer an excuse please, roll your eyes and snort. Seriously. Accountability works wonders, and humiliation is my greatest fear. I'll thank you.

To host monthly events.
      I want to have people over. Sometimes a party, sometimes a few friends, sometimes just one family. Nothing fancy, I don't do that. But I want a hospitable home, not just a place where people are welcome, but a place people want to come. And where they receive regular invitations.

To have a functional and self-sustaining farm, with happy healthy animals, which will eventually include poultry for meat and eggs, four-legged meat animals, no-legged meat animals, dairy animals, and edible plants.
      Ok, I am not taking this all on at once. Babysteps. This year I'm going to work on the animals I have, making sure they are healthy and happy, and my land is taken good care of. I have big plans for the future of Stumble-On Micro-Farm, but for now, I'm going to focus on doing a good job with what I have already.

To have a homey, simple, diy decorated home.
      Oh boy do I have a ways to go with this. Plenty of ideas! Just look at my pinterest boards. Seriously, go look at them. They're awesome. None of those ideas are in my house yet....This will be just a little tough, because at the moment my house is kinda last on the budget. So the main thing I will be working on currently is simplifying and getting rid of stuff. I want a small but functional wardrobe, a small but USED crafting collection, and even......less books. That will hurt. However, I am not a library. I do not have the room. I do have a library card. As soon as I pay off the small fine on it, it will even work again.

To learn how to play an instrument.
      I want to learn the fiddle. I even have a fiddle, and Old Time Fiddle for the Complete Ignoramus. The fiddle is slightly broken, and at the moment I don't have the wherewithal to get it fixed, so I'm starting with the piano. A keyboard, actually. At least that I have some background in; I still know where middle C is.

To have Bible and prayer time everyday.
     I manage to get on the computer everyday. Prayer and Bible shouldn't come second to that. No excuses.

To be fit and healthy.
     Consistency is key. I really need to get the the habit of being active and eating well. I've discovered that I do better grain-free, and again, accountability does amazing things for me. I am very thankful for the friends I have doing this with me. They sometimes help me get over the stuff-my-face-with-donuts phases I go through regularly. Sometimes nothing helps.

To be an outdoorsy person.
     I love the outdoors. I should spend more time in it. This goes hand in hand with the one above.

To have a great relationship with my kids.
    I homeschool them and work side by side with them daily, but I need to remember to have fun with them, and just listen to them sometimes, and really work on building memories and communication that will last post-moving out. At the moment my kids still claim to like me. I doubt their sincerity at times. They are either very forgiving or very lame, otherwise.

To be a successful homeschooling mother.
      I wonder if I will ever feel like I've achieved this. There is always so much more I want to do and/or that I feel like I should be doing. Basically, my goals for my kids are simple: I want them to be godly, brave, capable, kind, and curious. That's it in a nutshell. A really large nutshell, like a giant massively giant pecan shell. This year I have kids most of the ages between 16 and 0. The older ones are pros at changing diapers, so at least I have that part of capable down.

Ok, I have 10 of these, but this post is truly ridiculously long and boring. So I will finish it and bore you some more later.

Tomorrow I'm going to post about Sir Dex's baptism, with a truly ridiculous number of photos.